Complementary and Symmetrical Relationship Patterns

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom: https://www.pexels.com/photo/two-women-holding-pen-601170/

The MRI team, particularly Don Jackson, identified two types of feedback loops or communication patterns: 

Symmetrical – where people respond to each other in similar ways and

Complementary – where people respond in different ways

Don’t think of either one as “good” or “bad” or the “right” or “wrong” way…When expressed in healthy and appropriate ways, either type of communication results in growth and positive change. But, either one can also be unhealthy and destructive as well…

In symmetrical relationships, the two people mirror each other. Think of symmetrical as the same on both sides…

An example of a healthy symmetrical communication relationship–They both communicate in the same way and support one another to feel heard and understood, or even both engage in similar roles.

An unhealthy example of symmetry would be indirect communication where both lack listening skills and neither person feels heard or understood. Or maybe both yell and talk over one another without the ability to listen to the other side of the argument. 

In complementary relationships, the two people communicating are doing so in different ways than the other. 

An example of a healthy complementary relationship–dividing up roles to get things accomplished in the relationship (such as chores and labor in the home, jobs outside of the home–both feeling like they are contributing as well as the other person in getting things accomplished, however with doing different tasks). Another example could be one person verbalizing their feelings using words, while the other person expresses feelings animatedly or with more action.

An example of an unhealthy complementary relationship may be one when someone abuses their power with dominance over the other, or being argumentative while the other person is quiet.

Come back later this week for a practice question related to this topic...Can you share other examples of these types of relationships and communication patterns? Share in the comments!